To put it simply, rejection sucks. Whether it's in personal relationships, professional endeavors, or creative pursuits, being rejected can trigger feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, and even questioning one's self-worth. We’ve all been there, and I can safely assume that we all don’t welcome rejection with open arms.
I think it’s innately human to avoid bad feelings, but how often do bad situations often lead to better things? Maybe not 100% of the time, but definitely more often than not. When I reflect on the times I was rejected professionally (from a job, or promotion, etc.), I have this “out of the box” experience where I’m thankful for that rejection. Being further away from the rejection, I see so clearly the lessons learned, personal growth, and new perspectives I attained from trudging through the journey of accepting the rejection.
For a brief moment in history, I was a high school English teacher. At the school district that I was in, it was part of their hiring process to make applicants become long-term substitutes for a school year before being signed on as an “official” teacher. Annoying, but understandable (I guess). So that’s what I did. I was a long-term sub for the entire school year, and at the end of the year was officially hired (yay).
However, simultaneously, another job opened up at my school, and that was for an Assistant Principal role. And for those of you watching at home, I have my Masters in Public Administration with a concentration in Educational Leadership… Which is a fancy way of saying that I wanted to be a school administrator one day. So I thought… Should I go for it?
Instantly my brain turned against me. You’ll never get that job. You aren’t qualified for that. Everyone will laugh at you for even applying for that job. Your principal will think you’ve lost your actual mind. If you get an interview you’ll look/ sound so stupid. You name the negative thought- I had it.
It was then that I decided to have radical courage, and just apply, because for real… What did I actually have to lose? So I went for it… Annnnnd didn’t make it past the first phone screening (lol). But you know what? During that phone screening I was able to have a conversation with my Principal that I wouldn’t have been able to have otherwise. I was able to not only share my career goals, but also my passion for education, staff development, and partnering with families. In that conversation, my Principal was able to see a side of me that she hadn’t seen before, and decided to invest back in me by giving me opportunities for growth the following year. She made me a class sponsor, advised me to join the instructional consultation team, had me run a virtual professional development session, and more. I learned so much and was so grateful for those experiences.
At the end of that school year, to my surprise, another Assistant Principal job opened up, and I thought, I’m going for it again. This time, I made it past the phone screening, past the second round of interviews with the other administrators and a few colleagues, and made it to the final round of interviews with the Superintendents and the board. In making it that far, I was one of three candidates (out of over 60 that applied), and was the only internal candidate to get to that point.
Sadly, I didn’t get the job, but in reality I got so much more. Those situations gave me new skills, a closer relationship with my supervisor, opportunities to teach others, an actual understanding of the hiring process for a school administrator (you best believe I took HELLA notes along the way), and above all else, a better sense of myself and a new perspective on rejection.
This whole scenario really made me think… What is rejection doing to our career trajectories? Especially for women. Here is the sad, but glaring truth:
(I got this information from this article if you’re interested in learning more)
I came up with a few strategies to help you just do the damn thing and open yourself up to the possibility of rejection when attempting to advance in your career (however that may look):
As I reflect on my journey and the pivotal moments of rejection that shaped it, I've come to realize that rejection, despite its initial sting, holds the transformative power to lead us toward unforeseen opportunities. The call to action is clear: go all-in, be unapologetically authentic, and trust that rejection is merely a stepping stone on our unique career journeys. After all, rejection isn't ever actually the end of the road, and typically becomes the catalyst for your most triumphant victories.
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