The Three Ds: What Dog Training Has Taught Me about Being a Summer Camp Director

Sometimes my campers make decisions I don’t like. They do things like punch their friends over a game of gaga or hide under their beds on checkout day. I used to think really good camp professionals knew how to make their campers do “the right thing,” but over time I’ve stopped thinking that. Now I think really good camp professionals know how to make the right things happen for their campers. This isn’t a realization I had because I became a camp director, though I wish it was; it’s a lesson I learned from my partner’s dog. 

My partner’s dog’s name is Fleetwood and I was lucky enough to earn a co-mom status after I joined their family. A few months ago, Fleetwood and I started doing dog training together to work through her habit of growling at other dogs or chasing innocent rodents in the woods. It’s been a really fun journey for us but it hasn’t gone as expected. I think I’ve learned more from Fleetwood during training than she has from me. The most important thing I’ve learned is that I can’t make her do things. No matter how many times we practice recall or not eating animal droppings, she still has the power to decide to ignore me and do it anyway. Even her most well-trained behaviors are just choices she makes for herself, and those can’t be controlled by me. 

Fleetwood has taught me another great secret though: even if I can’t make her do things, I can make the environment do things instead.

I do this using the three Ds:

1. Distance

2. Duration

3. Distraction

A few weeks ago Fleetwood woke me up, barking, at 6am. I followed her to the window and saw a dozen strange adult men standing in our backyard, preparing to do construction on the roof of our building. I called Fleetwood to come back to bed but she chose to keep barking, so I decided to change the environment. I smeared a dab of peanut butter on the floor to add a new distraction, and she chose to not bark for about ten minutes. She still seemed on edge, so I took her outside, to a new distance, and we watched the workmen from about twenty feet away. She didn’t choose to bark outside at all, and after a duration of about fifteen minutes, she got bored of watching them work and sniffed the grass. After that, we went back inside and she didn’t choose to bark again. 

I think of The Three Ds as a starting point, rather than a rule book. They’re helpful because they’re elusive. They don’t give answers. Instead, they make me think. They push me to consider what I could do to support Fleetwood instead of trying to control her or force her to do things. They help me focus on centering her in her own support. 

I had a camper once who loved competitive games. When his team scored he’d cheer with his friends and when the other team scored he’d curse at them; he was a bit too excited. He spent a lot of time that camp session sitting with counselors who cared about him, talking about how it was wrong to yell at his friends. I think he knew very well that it wasn’t very nice, but that knowledge didn’t help him. It didn’t give him new behaviors to choose from when the other team scored a point. He still felt angry.

The three Ds at camp:

1. Distance: We learned to have a staff member stand close to him during games so they could intercept any outbursts. This kept people safe but it didn’t help him build new coping mechanisms and it still made for a very hard session. What if we had tried changing the environment in other ways? Maybe we could have created an environment where he had more behaviors to choose from. Maybe he would have liked those other choices better. 

2. Duration: What if we had changed to a new game halfway through, or switched the teams?

3. Distraction: What if we had tried playing music during the game or taking a water break after each point scored?

It’s fascinating watching Fleetwood’s choices change in different environments. Sometimes she seems stuck on a certain behavior, like barking at the construction team, but after we adjust the environment she can start to practice other choices, like sniffing the grass next to them, and after that we can keep adjusting the environment until we’re back where we started–except this time she isn’t stuck barking anymore. Adjusting the three Ds seems to open up access to new choices. It gives her the chance to try hard things herself, without force and without being pushed outside of her growth zone. 

The more we’ve practiced the three Ds, the more I’ve been able to learn about who she is. I’ve been able to notice more of the things she likes or doesn’t like, communicate with her better, and celebrate the things she’s good at more often. Rather than trying to force a specific behavior or outcome, I’m able to just observe her choice and then change the environment around her. When we practice the Three Ds, my choices are connected to her choices, and hers are connected to mine. We work together more. 

I think the three Ds can open doors. It helps caregivers focus on learning more about their campers and supporting their needs before they ever consider changing who they are or how they behave. Practicing this with Fleetwood has even made me better at managing my own environment. It’s shown me that I can do hard things better and enjoy them more if I take a moment to set myself up for success. I think the Three Ds have that power. They create more opportunities to center people’s voices and respect people's choices. They center understanding rather than criticism. They give people (and dogs) a way to move forward, together.  

Want to Hear Eliza Talk About the Three Ds?